A T-SHIRT STORE
DISGUISED AS A
BASEBALL LEAGUE.

RAIL is a growing American story world built from fictional small-town baseball clubs, real shirts and hats, impossible mascots, family grudges and bad municipal decisions.

PART GRAPHIC NOVEL. PART PRO WRESTLING. PART TELENOVELA. PART TRAILER PARK PRIME TIME DRAMA… PART BASEBALL TOO MAYBE.

Shop the shirts →Meet the teams →Start the story ↓

REAL MERCH. FICTIONAL BASEBALL. ONGOING CHAOS.

RAIL official league T-shirt — REAL SHIRTS

Bean Hook, the Bloomington Soy Beers grim-reaper mascot — FAKE TEAMS

Lottie Lizard at the Lincoln Lot Lizards ballpark — ONGOING CHAOS

NO GAMES
REQUIRED

FAKE BASEBALL+REAL MERCH+ONGOING STORY=RAIL

RAIL IN THIRTY SECONDS

HERE’S HOW THIS WORKS.

You do not need to know baseball. You only need to recognize a town, a grudge or a shirt you would wear.

PICK A CLUB

Every fictional team has a hometown, an identity, strange leadership and its own particular civic failure.

Meet three good starting points →

FOLLOW THE STORY

Owners feud. Mascots misbehave. The League Office issues rulings. Baseball remains a future possibility.

Read the latest story →

WEAR THE EVIDENCE

The clubs are fictional. The shirts, hats, hoodies, mugs and stickers are completely real.

Shop RAIL →

NEW HERE?

BEGIN WITH THESE THREE DISASTERS.

Three clubs. Three different kinds of trouble. Pick the one that feels most like your people.

Active Club · Bloomington, Illinois

Bloomington Soy Beers

Underground baseball run beneath a shopping center by a nine-year-old general manager and a family that prefers no witnesses.

Active Club · Lincoln, Illinois

Lincoln Lot Lizards

Truck-stop baseball powered by divorce money, roadside royalty, light beer and Lizzie Mack’s commitment to making Morris furious.

Forthcoming Expansion Club · Eastern Conference

Green Bay Sucks

A Virginia expansion club owned by a toilet-paper company, coached by Coach D and completely unaware of any other Green Bay.

THAT WAS ONLY THE START.

Meet all eleven operating clubs and the forthcoming Green Bay Sucks.

See every RAIL club →

NOW ROTATING THROUGH THE RAIL STORE

MERCH FIRST.
BASEBALL LATER.

View all 30 products →

ELLEBEAU JONES · FUCK AFRAID.

CURRENTLY ON DISPLAY · 1 OF 25

Ellebeau’s “Fuck Afraid” Tee

From $20.45

Fear has had plenty of time to make its point. A gritty portrait, dark shades, and exactly two words of advice: Fuck Afraid. For showing up nervous and doing it anyway.

BUY ON FOURTHWALL →

THE STORY IS ALREADY IN PROGRESS

LATEST EPISODE:
GREEN BAY SUCKS WILL INAUGURATE THE EASTERN CONFERENCE

The Green Bay Sucks of Green Bay, Virginia are announced as a forthcoming expansion franchise and inaugural club of RAIL’s new Eastern Conference. Coach D holds field authority. The club is a joint venture owned 51% by Mandarich Toilet Paper Company and 49% by the City of Green Bay. Its home is Mandarich Toilet Paper Municipal Stadium. Looks strong on paper. The team store is open; merchandise, opening date and first season are forthcoming. RAIL continues to recognize eleven operating clubs. We didn’t even know there was another Green Bay.

Enter the story →Meet the League Office →

WATCH THE LEAGUE