RAILREAL AMERICA INDEPENDENT LEAGUEReal Merch for Fictional BaseballLEAGUE EXECUTIVE AUTHORITY
Dead-serious baseball authority for a league whose owners are friends requiring boundaries.
A MESSAGE FROM THE PRESIDENT
An archival introduction from President Sparky Roseman recorded before the operating league expanded to eleven clubs. Consult the current club directory for the active lineup.
Baseball remains a future possibility. Official merchandise is available now.
President
President Sparky negotiates toward compromise and protects the freedom and individuality of each club. Repeated refusal to cooperate ends negotiation and produces a firm ruling.
Official statements use the impersonal voice of the Office of the President. In league meetings, Sparky speaks plainly, colorfully and with whatever natural profanity the matter has earned.
For now, the owners remain within the boundaries of organized baseball. That may not last. Sparky’s control will: every club operates by his authority, every dispute ends at his desk and every final ruling is his.
LEAGUE OFFICE · MERCHANDISE AUTHORITY
DIRECTOR OF MERCHANDISE
Ellebeau Jones controls the league catalog, club collections and the movement of officially authorized goods. She is reserved, direct and professionally competent; a sales meeting with her tends to feel less like a pitch than a final determination.
Dark-haired and deliberately unpolished, Jones works in worn RAIL clothes with a baseball-stitching tattoo at her neck and an Al Capone cigarillo close at hand. She does not perform for the camera. The merchandise does enough of that already.
“DON’T BE A BORE… HEAD TO THE STORE!”Shop RAIL →
OFFICIAL LEAGUE CORRESPONDENCE
Business, media, merchandise and franchise inquiries may be directed to the Office of the President.
sparky@railbaseball.comOFFICE OF THE PRESIDENT
By authority of the Office of the President, the Real America Independent League is prepared to acknowledge that it exists.
RAIL currently recognizes eleven operating clubs. Historical and proposed clubs are not included in that total. No rosters have been verified. No schedules have been approved. This is an administrative matter and will not delay merchandise.
Owners are reminded that raids, ambushes and promotional invasions require prior league authorization. RAIL has arrived. Baseball remains under consideration.
| CLUB | W | L | GB |
|---|---|---|---|
| Bloomington Soy Beers | 0 | 0 | — |
| Lincoln Lot Lizards | 0 | 0 | — |
| Atlanta ODs | 0 | 0 | — |
| Washington Meatheads | 0 | 0 | — |
| El Paso Road Commission | 0 | 0 | — |
| Peoria Coldcocks | 0 | 0 | — |
| Lexington Township Relaxation Farm | 0 | 0 | — |
| Pontiac Bars | 0 | 0 | — |
| Le Roy Browns | 0 | 0 | — |
| Fairbury, Nebraska | 0 | 0 | — |
*No games were required to arrive at these standings.
TERRITORIAL CLAIMS DIVISION
RAIL occupies the stretch of Real America where municipal pride, truck-stop diplomacy and administrative error remain acceptable expansion strategies.
This promotional filing predates the admission of Pontiac, Le Roy and Fairbury, Nebraska. The operating league now has ten clubs. Geographic objections must be submitted directly to Texas.
The Fairbury contract names Nebraska. The map was drawn before anyone checked.
PUBLIC RECORDS REQUEST PARTIALLY DENIED
Material submitted by owners, investigators and television sets.
Office of the President →